Things Fall Apart

Hey Ladies! How y'all feeling? Two things I am extremely happy about is it's Football season and Power is back! I know its the simple things. So I have been in the midst of a transition. Change is hard and moving to a new city is even harder. Especially when folks are hell bent on minding your business. I can not even understand why folks are so concerned with my life, who Bae is, and what we are or are not doing. People are just miserable and they hate to see you happy about any damn thing. This morning as I was engaging in trash talk with my fellow HBCU football fans I had a thought. What has been the key to me surviving a lot of the shit I have been through. Generosity! I mean when you are a giver you will always have what you need and most of what you want. Let me say this a little louder for the sisters in the back. If you horde resources, contacts and information you will not get where you want to go. God designed us to be in reciprocal relationships. I mean no matter if you believe in Karma or sowing and reaping what goes around comes around. If you are a person who is saving up all your connects for a big pay out and when your sister or brother ask you to connect them with someone to help them come up..you will eventually reap someone holding the damn door closed for you ass. I mean the same folks you pass on the way up are the same ones waving at you on your way down.

I have had a few hard days the last couple of days its been pretty hard for me. Mainly I feel like people promise you things and then they just don't seem to do what they say they will do. It feels like you have been abandoned. I have been in several Airbnb's over the last month and spent time in my new city trying to settle down. Let me take a moment to remind you of something I have witnessed in the lives of others. Please know the devil gives his own form of blessings. I hear people say I prayed and said God if this house, car etc is for me you will let it go through. Honey, that is immature faith. The car can go through, you can get the house and still not be in the will of God. God is not a genie in the bottle. Mature faith says God am I in the right place to give your name glory? Lord, am I in your will? It says Lord I will go to a city you told me to go to even when I can not fully grasp why. Actually there have been times I have been completely in God's will and everything around me has fallen apart. Listen to me good Ladies. Mature faith understands that material blessings are not always an indicator God is blessing you. It seems like the moment I yielded to God's plan my life fell apart all around me. The devil only has those three tricks I mentioned in my last blog so what is he after. Today I had a moment of down right doubt. I was like maybe I heard God wrong and this is not what I am supposed to be doing. I mean it feels like I am drowning in doubt. But, I am mature enough to know this doesn't mean I am not in the right place. This is an indicator that the enemy wants me to give up and never step into my purpose. The book of Job has always fascinated me because calamity fell on Job not because of anything he did but because God knew he could trust him. Friends....ask yourself can God trust you? Can he trust you to move through the hard stuff to get to the part where you feel like you are winning? Or will you give up, turn around and how far are your from your breakthrough??!! I can tell you this come hell or high water I will see this one through.

This week I have been reminded of a couple of things. I am not your old garden variety chick I am fearfully and wonderfully made and God has an incredible plan for my life. The things he calls me too are messy as hell but, he knows I will soldier through it because I always have in the past. Sis, I know you are tired of the disappointments and seeing others win all around you. I know you might be saying when the hell is it going to be my turn to be happy. Well happy is overrated and strive for joy. Because when happy fades joy says this is just a temporary setback keep on pushing. I was sitting in a networking event and I realized I had lost confidence in myself and my ability to present myself. I had lost some of my shine. Ladies we lose confidence sometimes especially when we feel like we have been in a dry season. However, I had a moment of clarity and I hear Lizzo singing "I am 100 percent that bih!!!" I immediately stood up taller and made my presence known. My name is Kymira and I came to slay dammit! Love yourself more than you love others. When we love ourselves we won't allow anyone to tell us what we can and can't do. Take some time this week and write down goals, do something you have wanted to do and never took the time to do it, and laugh until your belly hurts. This too shall pass! Peace