Ladies...I don't know what is going on with WIX but I have typed two whole blogs and lost them. Oh well! So Boom! I have wanted to go to Dinner en Blanc for a few years now. I was on the waitlist in DC. Then they sent me a waitlist for this year too. But, I no longer reside in DC and KC ain't hip to this yet. So I found myself looking at friends who attended in Charlotte and feeling sort of sad. I don't know what my obsession is with this event. First of all I hate wearing all white, and I don't even own a pair of white shoes. So I guess it must be the fact that my black ass just ain't invited. One of my male friends pointed out the fact that you have to bring your own food, wine, table etc. oh yeah and you also have to pay. I guess it is the experience and maybe the element of surprise. Or maybe just maybe I am bougee AF.
Speaking of bougee, your girl has been trying to do some new things. I formed a golf group and I can't wait until we start to play on Tuesdays. Bae says I am the leader of the group. I wanted him to be wrong so bad. I mean he acted like me being sorry would impact him personally. So he put on his coach hat and gave me some pointers. But because it was my idea I guess I am the leader of this bad ass band of beginner golfers. I had already got new clubs for my birthday but, I had to buy me some cute outfits. I mean if you just a beginner you should want to look good am I right?? See there goes that bougee shit again dressing up for a game I can barely play. But it's like they say dress for the job you want. I am just manifesting a great golf game in my future. I know making friends as a grown as woman is hard. I am trying to broaden my circle in these KC streets. I really love to network but sometimes it is hard work. Sheesh!
I have been thinking a lot lately about relationships. Not just romantic relationships but, even friendships. I think we should take inventory sometimes of the people we call friends. So Ladies, you know how you meet a guy and he starts out doing all of the wooing. Then all that shit is out of the window in a good month or two. In my younger years, I used to get really angry if a dude wouldn't call me back or was poor with communication. But with age comes wisdom and I have learned as one of my real close girlfriend says, match their energy. I know it is hard for us to let go of the fantasy relationships we have dreamt about all of our lives. Listen, I ain't no dream killer but Sis if that doesn't happen what is your plan B. I find myself getting the most attention from males when I am grinding and not putting forth any effort in dating. I remember a dog food commercial back in the day. The announcer would say the dog had that Hi-Pro glow. We get a glow about us when we are handling our business aka running shit. That glow is attractive to both women and men. In the church they say it is the anointing. The glow draws people to you. Now how you handle those folks once they are in your space is up to you.
Here are a few things I am learning.
1. Learn to love yourself. I used to live with a lot of people and now I currently live alone. The thing about living alone is it can be lonely but it can also be revolutionary in your personal growth. I have learned to do whatever I want to do solo if need be. I know what things make me happy and what things make me cry.
2. Set Goals and Kept Track of them. I am crushing some lifelong goals this year. I feel very excited about it. I had to work my plan to get to my goal. I do things in and on my own time. This has worked for me. Don't allow others advice or concerns keep you from your goal. If it is for you it will find you and it won't pass you. So many people asked why in the hell are you moving to Kansas City? They had their own theory but, I knew I was exercising my faith. When I tell you shit got hard AF it got hard. I had no job, no place to stay and bad credit. So, I ended up hustling to find my way. What is it that God is leading you too? Are you afraid of failing or afraid of succeeding. I learned over time that faith is not at all about what you see. Cuz honey when I tell you I didn't see shit! It is in those times that you put your head down and push forward. Less than 2 years and I am employed, living in my own space and my credit score has drastically improved for the better.
3. Be good to YOU. Take the time to practice self care. Mental health is a big part of self care for me. My job deals with loss, misery and darkness. I have to have a place to vent and a place to dream. If I lose hope then it's game over. I give myself room to grieve loss and celebrate victory. Cuz secondary trauma is real. I have learned to take the "lull in the chaos" and rest. Don't forget to laugh. The Bible says "Laughter is like a medicine to the soul". It is totally okay for you to be proud of your accomplishments cuz you are a certified BOSS!