Sisters! How yall feeling out there. The outside is opening up and I know I have been glad to be out in the sunshine. I have been working like a Hebrew slave but, I have enjoyed the few times I have been able to get out and hang out with some Sisters. I never understand how some women can say they don't have any female friends. TF??!! The ladies in my life keep me super grounded. I am sitting in my home office. So Boom...our office flooded in February and we have yet to be in a new spot. Ain't that a bitch? We have been moving shit outta there in this 90-degree heat. Listen my black ass was sweating and angry. Menopause has caused me to burn out a whole ass Honeywell standing and oscillating fan. That bitch sounds like a mac truck. I actually bought another fan for backup. What can not happen is for the fan to break and I am without a fan. I had to take the backup fan to the office. I ain't gone lie since I turned 50 my ass has been struggling. Yo, my deodorant just stopped fucking working. I was out here living wrong as hell then I found this expensive ass Lume. I like that it is a cream and you can rub it under them boobs. Shit boob sweat can ruin your life. It is bad enough crumbs be falling in between your boobs. But that boob sweat smells like a monkey's ass. So I am up there packing up stuff with my fan blowing on me. We knocked a huge dent in it but we still have a way to go. Anyway, I am drinking wine and looking out of my window. I keep saying to myself I need to write more. But, that hasn't been happening. Shit, I am just not consistent. I also still can't fold a damn fitted shit either.
Anyhoo, I am listening to Mary J. Blige My Life CD. Yes! I did watch the documentary and I now know why this CD has blessed me so much over the years. I mean it has taken me through some fucked up relationships, breakups, heartbreak, and even breakdowns. I can't even front mad Mary and sad Mary make the best damn music. Sue me! Listening to her story and where she was when she wrote this music makes me celebrate the resilience of the black woman. Hunty we know how to overcome some shit and land on our feet. I had to take a sip of wine out of my bald-headed hoe shit wine glass on that. Sometimes I can get so deep in my thinking about who I am as a woman. I was thinking earlier this morning about how hard I have had to fight to stay alive. I mean this world is not nice to us "alpha" females. We are constantly having to tell somebody to, "Go to Hell!"
I am in this cigar group and it is always some damn drama in there. On one hand, I do love seeing so many beautiful black women smoking cigars. When I started it was very rare to see. The group was cool like most FB groups until it got larger. Then the drama started. Grown men mad about women showing cleavage, ass, and thighs. Folks mad at people smoking Gurkas and Rocky Patel cigars. WWRS don't you hate for somebody to try to tell you how to do some shit you have been doing for almost 20 years. Bro Fuck you! I smoke what I want and it's my business. I obviously don't have the grace of Tabitha
Brown.
One thing I have been learning post-pandemic is to love this skin I am in. I have had insomnia for the last few nights. One of my classmates crossed my mind who passed away at a young age. I began to think about how grateful I am for my family, my life, and my circle of friends. I mean my health scare could have been breast cancer but, it wasn't. I have been blessed to watch my baby grow up. I have been able to be present for all of the special moments in her life. When I put it in perspective I am truly blessed. One of my cousins passed last week. The sad part of his death is he was in his place for a couple of days before someone found him. I fear this sometimes. Living alone there is always the chance that you die alone. We can get in the mode of moving in silence but I remind my friends to let someone know where you are in case there is an emergency.
As I listen to Mary sing. I am reminded of the hills I have climbed, the situations I have thought would destroy me but, they made me better. The relationships I thought I lost out on. In all of this, I was winning. Sis! Please take a moment or two to look back at where you have come from. I mean I have come a long-ass way. So spend some time doing some self-care. I am missing the beach but, please believe I have a plan to get to the beach. Don't let the job or that thing that you are running end up running you. Girl the world needs you. You have just scratched the surface of who you are. So let's soak in the tub, steam our yonis, and treat ourselves to dinner, wine, or a new pair of shoes. Sis, you deserve every damn good thing that is happening to you. You didn't get into this place by looking cute. You are the shit! You run this motherfucker so act like it. Cheers
