Squad Up

Sisters of the Struggle....How ya'll feel out there today? Whew! Launching this blog has been a whole trip! I mean honestly, I have two other blogs that I tried to launch and never got past inviting a few friends to read. So that is what I want to get to today. Who do you have on your Squad? I mean let's take inventory of that shit this morning! Listen Ladies, I have had issues with females since I came out of the womb. I mean we all know that woman who says, "I don't have no female friends, all my friends are dudes." We side eye the shit outta her but, we also deep down on the inside are thinking yeah she living her best care free, drama free life tho. LOL! Let's face it females just do some of the most confusing shit ever! I mean I am just waiting for the day somebody I know calls me up and ask me am I talking about they ass on my blog. Girl bye ain't nobody thinking about yo ass that much!!! I digress.

I have found that I have the capacity to love some friends fiercely, be super loyal, and protect them at all cost. Then somewhere down the line they end up angry with me. They decided to do something that is gonna be hurtful or embarrassing to me. Sheesh!!!

I was just thinking back to when I was a little girl and I was super skinny and tall. My mom used to shop for me at this boutique. When she was unable to find things in the store my maternal Grandma (Mu Dear) would make me an outfit. Side bar.....It is not kind or cool to make fun of skinny people. I mean even as adults. Shit ladies everybody has something that they deal with. I know this because I was skinny as hell all my life but, I always had boobs. Thank you Jesus! I was flat chested as hell in the 7th grade and in the 8th grade over the summer I grew a whole set of grown woman boobs. Anyway, shopping would always end in tears. I could never wear the clothes my friends wore because the pants would be too short and the shirt sleeves would be too short as well. So my mom would buy me these cute jeans that had designs on the pockets. Like one pair had a girl doing a back bend, another pair might have a strawberry or ice cream cone. You get the picture. Of course I thought they were great until some heffa said, "Why do you dress like a white girl?" Now this would be something I would normally ignore except for the fact it came from a friend . It was the first time I felt the pain of being hurt by a close friend. But, Sisters of the Intanets it was not and won't ever be the last. Let me spit this smooth game to y'all this fine Wednesday morning. Some of your closest and bestest girlfriends might get jealous of you! I know!! "Why??" "I love them so much. I will get the gasoline on somebody for them." True! True! This is one of the things that makes being a Woman Who Runs Shit (WWRS) hard. I mean we get an idea about what we are gonna do in our head and we get in the motherfucking zone!! We have a plan, a damn to do list, a cup of Starbucks or a Bloody Mary and we bout to change the world. Yup! We love these people in our lives fiercely and would take a bullet for them. I know! So here is what I have learned. Allow people to be who they are. I mean love them but, just know they have limitations and they may disappoint you.

So at least once a year re-evaluate the folks on your squad and see if they are still good for you. Honey, do not and I repeat do not be afraid to invite some folks off yo team. Now there are tactful ways to do this and there are petty ways. I sometimes have a flair for the petty but, nobody is perfect. As a WWRS you will constantly have friends coming in and out of your life. Line up your squad based on your season of life. I have some great friends that I have had since childhood. Our friendships ebb and flow. Sometimes I feel closer to some depending on my season in life than I do to others. Now! I have been blessed to have friends who have never gotten jealous of me, cheer me on to greatness, welcome me into their success, cry with me and honey they will whip yo ass if you come for me! This is your core group. They usually remain constant but, you may have casualties along the way. Thank you sweet baby Jesus! But, I have also had folks matriculate through my life who have been toxic AF and swear they my girl. These heffas have come from work, church, women's groups, etc. So here is my tip for you wonderful Queens always be open to interview new squad members but, be very careful about allowing them into your inner circle. If you are reading this and you have zero female friends. Boo! You need a therapist. We need sister friends in our lives honey. They help us to shine. Because, You are a damn Boss, people will be drawn to you.... Always. It is something about that Alpha female mystique. It is attractive and alluring. Many of these women lack confidence and self esteem and they love rolling with you because honey you have a whole twelve pack of it in your trunk on deck. You become their voice, their mentor of sorts and they glean from you. But, beware of when they think they have gotten all they need and now they want to let you know about how much you aint shit! This Sisters is the hurtful part. This is the part that tho it has been happening since I have been wearing fucking strawberries on the back of my jeans hurts me to the core. It hurts because I have let you into the secret spaces of my life. I have given way fucking more than I have received. Bih you know my kryptonite! How can my girl be jealous of me she has the keys to the kingdom? I would walk on water for you....How???

Ladies!! you don't owe nobody shit!! I mean it! So learn to take care of you first. Take care of your heart, your spirit and your mind. Then do an honest evaluation of the situation. Sometimes you can just put ole girl on pause! Create some space and see what happens. If the relationship is worth saving she will realize her mistake, apologize and move on. Your relationship can continue but, it might be a little different. Be okay with that. We sometimes out grow our folks plain and simple so maybe we change the dynamics of the relationship for a season or forever you be the judge. Sis! at the end of the day DO NOT pick up these bags. I mean invite these people to pick up their own damn bag. You deserve happiness and you don't have to work this damn hard to be happy. I don't know who I am preaching too this morning but HEAR ME!! Some women in your life can't handle you finding a good man, getting a promotion, traveling the world or losing weight. That shit does not have a damn thing to do with you. Don't invite them into those spaces of your life. If she has shown you she can't handle them. You don't have to throw her away but, you damn sure don't have to give her a voice in your decision making. This is why it's called a squad. There is someone else on your team who is like...Give me the ball!!! They are ready to ride with you into the next season of your life. The squad is a tool to lift you up. Not a weight to bring you down. So stop being mad at people being and doing what they do. Get smart and put them in their position and win like winners do Sis! Oh and don't look at other women who have all these close friends who do xyz for them. They are not you! Sis! they have a whole different assignment. Now take some time to get a pedicure or a new pair of cute shoes and give your goals a swift kick in the ass!!!