HBCU Love

Today I have been mostly just trying to get my life together. I have been spending a lot of time out of town and that has meant things get in disarray at the homefront. Today I had a very organized to do list that just went to shit. Mainly because my mind has been going in a bunch of different directions. I want to start out by saying I had the pleasure of attending an HBCU. This weekend I was celebrating with about 31,000 other fans of Black College Football the championship game. I have been the past two years and my school has won 3 of the 4 championship titles. It was important for me to make this particular game because I missed Homecoming. We Aggies of The North Carolina A&T State University call our Homecoming GHOE (Greatest Homecoming on Earth). Now this is going to be disputed by other HBCU folks declaring their Homecoming is better. I suggest those people say that in their own damn blog. I was in conversation with a few of my friends who have all attended HBCU's and there is truly a bond. So much of who I am started on the Yard. I have met life long friends, developed deep relationships and mainly I learned so much about being black. I have had the pleasure of growing up with HBCU's my whole life. My mom and uncle have served in faculty positions at University of Arkansas Pine Bluff, North Carolina A& T State University, Alabama A& M University, Alcorn State University and University of Maryland Eastern Shore. In our family it was expected that you would go to college. There was a pride that was instilled in me an my friends. We grew up in a college town.

I can remember as a little girl begging my mom to buy me a baton so that I could be a majorette when I got to college. I never did accomplish that dream. My band days lasted from the 5-10th grade. After 10th grade I was over summer band practice and marching. However, my love of the band still comes through when I hear a college band play "Neck" or " Hay In the Middle of The Barn" This past weekend was full of all the things I loved about my black college experience. The fellowship, love , great food, lots of drinks, music and then the friends. I really just can't imagine my life without those first friendships I made a tall, skinny 18 year old Freshman. I guess when you think about it there is no time in your life that you are surrounded by so many people all trying to accomplish the same exact goals. We are all there trying to get degrees and make our family proud of us. This came to mind this weekend as I saw people that I basically grew up with. So as I sit in a club with some people I have known since I was 18 years old, drinking and vibing to the DJ I couldn't believe how far I have come. There were times in my 20's that I did not think I would live a life as wonderful as I am living. I thought about the friends who have gone on to be with the Lord. Some left us when we were just babies on the Yard. Some left us way too soon as adults. But WWRS I sat there and I thanked my creator for my space in the building. That I was able to yell "Aggie Pride" with folks I have watch beat cancer, death of parents, loss of children, unemployment, YOU NAME IT!! We were there to witness our school that binds us all together. No matter if you were from the country or the city we were all Aggies. We were celebrating the victory but really we were celebrating life. A friend asked me what is it about the gathering of HBCU folks? I had to think about it but not too hard. When I get with my Aggies it is like being with family. It is like one big family reunion. Maybe the difference for us and those who attend a PWI is we know some of us were first generation, low GPA having, teen mothers and fathers, etc. We knew we needed to be in a place that your English professor could cuss you out for acting a fool and not doing your homework. Not because it was their job but because they cared about your future. The HBCU is a Community within a Community.

In my professional career, I have mentored lots of students at Howard University. This was a challenge for me because Howard and A&T are opponents in the Mid Eastern Athletic Conference (MEAC) So I would have to let all my little Bison mentees know that although they call Howard "The Mecca" A& T is still #1 in my heart. In my work with so many young women I have been blessed to see a thread of service in each of these women. I have watched some get higher level degrees and testify in front of the Senate or Congress. I have watched some take on lead roles in movies. I have seen school teachers , principals, and other kinds of educators. I have also watched nervous breakdowns, unplanned pregnancies, loss of parents etc. In all of this I have been blessed to serve as an ecourager, mentor and friend. As I look around the world today at WWRS such as Kamala Harris (Howard), Janice Bryant Howroyd (NCA&T) , Keisha Lance Bottoms (FAMU) just to name a few. I smile and think these women all had a similar experience at an HBCU. They have ethnic sounding names and yet they have catapulted through the glass ceiling to become some of our nation's most powerful women. Ladies as you begin to think about those extra 10 lbs you need to lose. The credit score that is lower than you want it to be. The promotion or the big job that you didn't get. Just know that you are still here. That means you still have another chance to get this shit right. Take a deep breath and speak your mantras and then get back to it. I have found myself taking a lot more risks these days. I say it to myself daily....Kymira you are a writer. You will inspire others through your writing. Stay true to yourself. Cuz can't nobody beat you at being you. Whatever that goal is you have doesn't have to start on Jan 1st it can start today. Start to prepare yourselves to purge all the toxic Bammas out of your life. Why? To make room for the good things that are coming. Some of you are still allowing others to manipulate you emotionally, physically and financially because you don't think you deserve the good stuff. Practice this with me...NO! Just say NO to that family member who has made you loan officer and ATM. Say NO to baby daddy or ex husband who keeps asking you to do shit that causes you strife in your life or relationship. Believe this when you start to say NO to people they will find another way to get it done. But Baby they will keep letting yo ass do it as long as you keep doing it. I don't know who I am preaching too but take what you need Boo. What do the lonely do at Christmas....Shit they have peace of mind and more time do do the shit they want to do for themselves!