A Women's Worth

Ladies!!! I have decided to write tonight. I felt like I needed to write. I don't know about you but this whole "Surviving R Kelly" series has shown me so much about so many people. Can I tell you how triggered I have been by listening to these ladies stories and hearing the public pull them apart. I mean I know women who have so many stories to tell. Like the time when I was in high school and my classmate violently raped me. Not to mention the fact that he raped other girls at our school. One girl he raped repeatedly. Now I am writing this and guess what? I am not crying about it. I don't cry about that shit anymore. After close to 20 years of counseling and therapy. Listen to me good Ladies Don't let anyone tell you when or where or how you can tell your story. It's time out for all this shit that black women and men are doing. Seriously, how many of us have a story when we told a guy no and his ass persisted?... forced himself on you and now when he sees you his memory has failed him. He wants to hug you and act like yall had such a great relationship. When you really just want to stab his ass in the balls.

Sis! we have a problem in our community and I am here to tell you that the fucked up shit that has happened to you at the hands of men is wrong. They are wrong. You are not fast, loose...you are not a hoe, a bitch or a trick. These men are weak and insecure and they have issues. They mainly have issues because they think it is okay. I am so thankful to the brothers who stand in the gap for us and say ENOUGH! To these brothers...ya'll are the real MVP's. But there is too much shit that happens in dark rooms, at frat parties, in cars and bathrooms that fuck up women for life. I just want you to know that if there is something deep down in the basement Sis get yourself a good therapist and work it out. The time is NOW! Because, it looks like we are going to have to deal with it being on television, social media and in the news. Let's just say it is time for us WWRS to speak up for other women who have not yet found their voice. I was reading this article in The Atlantic. https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2017/06/black-girls-innocence-georgetown/532050/ I agree wholeheartdly with the author when she speaks about black girls not being seen as innocent and people thinking they need to be protected. But the idea of them thinking that black girls know about sex at the age of 5 floored me. So no you did not imagine how those older boys looked at you when you were 9 and 10 years old. This is something that has happened to young black girls for years. I am hoping we will keep the next generation of chocolate and caramel girls from experiencing the same bullshit.

Let's call out all the folks who are on our timeline spewing bullshit. Let's just tell them to shut the fuck up. l mean it. Let's confront our family members and say "No, my daughter does not have to give Uncle John's perverted ass a hug" We need to stop all this explaining and coddling grown ass people. I am just over it all. I am starting to see how many folks are out here doing the most. When I was in the ninth grade a young man who was a senior in High School started picking me up from school. Yes you heard that right! I would ride with him and he would tell me how pretty I was. One day he asked me if I wanted to come over to his house after school and hang out. I said I couldn't but on the advice of one of my peers I ended up going over anyway. I lost my virginity to a young man when I was still just a child. I remember being ashamed and embarrassed. He put this huge purple hickey on my neck. Of course we didn't hang out again. The crazy part of all of this is I didn't realize how fucked up this was until I had my own child. When I started working with young people it was then that I realized how incredibly sad that encounter was. I share this stories with you ladies today to let you know we are stronger than we think. I can see all of the memes going around blaming women for having relationships with older men. But, it is not funny and these men should not be messing with children. Hell the year before I didn't even have breasts. These memories are mine and the story I am telling is my own to tell. I can tell it as much and as little as I want. So Ladies let me admonish you to take care of yourself. If you need to take a break from social media do that. If you need a mental health day take that day off. If you need to call a sister friend and just cry it out...make sure you do that soon. Don't take those feelings of sorrow, anger, and frustration for granted. Ladies lets take care of each other Okay??